Possibly not

April 10, 2022

I just remembered how I arm wrestled some average girl at a music festival 10+ years ago and lost. Since then I’ve gained 40 pounds and went to the gym a bit. I wonder if we had a rematch now, would I win?

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Some time ago I encountered some weird dude while I was having a smoke in front of the house. From the moment he saw me up until he walked past and disappeared behind the corner he was constantly cursing me, saying stuff like people like me are the reason the Republic has failed, that I’m a perv*rt and a fagg*t and that I shouldn’t exist. He was obviously completely, utterly insane (or high), but he had an amazing talent in getting under my skin and making me feel uncomfortable. I saw him a couple more times on the following days and he always spewed similar insults. Since he seemed to lack any sanity, I developed a serious paranoia that he is going to kidnap me, cut me into pieces and feed me to his dog.

After living in fear for some time, I solved it for myself by not smoking in front of the house anymore and started having my breaks behind the house during the day. I would still smoke in front of the house at night though, thinking I could avoid any encounters with annoying people that way.

But I was wrong. Just now, I was chillin in front of the house, at 2 AM, and there was some drunk guy on the street. He walked straight towards me and I could tell from his face that he wanted something from me. I tried to slip behind the corner and avoid him, but I was too slow. Fortunately, I found out that all he wanted was to fist bump me and wish me a pleasant evening. And a cigarette. I guess he noticed that I was trying to avoid him, since he said that he was not trying to be scary or anything, he was just going home. He then staggered away and left me thinking:

One day, I wish to be as self aware as that dude I met today, who even being really drunk tried to make me feel safe by being overly polite and explaining that he’s just a regular normal person.

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Not who you think it is

January 19, 2022

I really love books. You can find some amazing ideas reading them. Some of those ideas will completely change your whole being, leave an impact until you die. But let’s face it, a lot of books, especially non-fiction ones, could easily present all of their ideas with way less text, maybe as a blog post or an article.

I just remembered a funny thing that happened to me recently. And while I was thinking about it, I realized I could use the strategy that actual writers use, and extend that small memory with a bunch of filler text until it becomes literature. And that is precisely what you are reading at the moment.

So. Most of us have had this happen. You go to a shop, buy cigarettes or a beer and the cashier asks for your ID. Even though you are like 35. I understand that, better safe than sorry. Also, nowadays people wear masks so it is even harder to be sure of who you are dealing with. I also wear glasses and I love to wear a hood, which cover my natural looks even more.

Those kinds of misjudgments due to covered heads and faces can get even weirder. Recently, I was walking down the street, wearing my long winter coat with the hood on. And some guy basically catcalled me in Russian. He then walked up to me, said like “Oh. Not a girl.”, and left. I found the whole encounter funny. Did that dude think that girls normally are 190cm (6’3″) tall? I guess it might have ended up not being funny had I been an actual girl. So I feel sorry for women who have to go through that shit on a regular basis.

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I don’t know why

January 9, 2022

Another year successfully wasted

I thought that a fun new years resolution would be to commit to a blog post every week this new year, but I already couldn’t do it last week so might as well not do it at all

Thanks goodbye

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Wanna get stabbed?

August 3, 2021

Back in ’98 I used to be the biggest fan of the TV show “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. It was totally my favorite thing. I owned a life-size poster of Sarah Michelle Gellar, which I was too ashamed to put up on my wall as it showed too much cleavage. I also had a coffee mug with her imagery, up until the time that I had a party with my friends where we got drunk at my place, ran naked around the neighbourhood, and after getting back inside I tried to make a cocktail of coke and fortified wine into the Buffy coffee mug, but alas I was too drunk so I broke the mug, and with that came an end to the era of my fandom for her.

Anyway, where I got that mug from – it was a present from a classmate at a school christmas party. The present I received was amazing, and the party was nice. Being an introvert already then, I took a break from the party at one point and went to get some ice cream. The raspberry ice cream with white chocolate toppings was great as always, it had long been my favorite. I ate it and walked back to school. But before I got back, some dudes on the street grabbed me and pulled me into a side alley, searched me, grabbed my cell phone, and ran away with it. I ran after one of them, into the backyard of a nearby house, and demanded my phone back. He didn’t want to return it, instead he asked what I have in my bag. I guess he was hoping for more valuables. I told him that it’s just a coffee mug I have there. Then he just beat me up and left me lying on the ground. Even though I was a fucking little kid. At least I kept the cup, intact for ten more years. Anyway, that’s why nowadays I always carry a knife with me whenever I go out.

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