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Kokoro Disconnect

June 17, 2020

There is a forum on Reddit, /r/animemes, where people post anime-related funny pictures. I’ve seen more and more of these being reposted to regular, non-anime meme sites and there are even a few full-fledged animeme formats that have seen widespread use, like the Chika and Fumino ones (example at the end of this post).

I guess anime is becoming mainstream. What I personally like about all the animemes tho is the quality sauce you can find by reading the comments. I’m not talking about six-digit numbers here, but actual anime series that I somehow missed when they were airing and that someone in the discussion thread now recommends.

I’ve binged a few older series lately thanks to that. I really loved ReLIFE, which made this old man cry and laugh and cry more than his last serious relationship. And at the moment, I’m about to finish Kokoro Connect, which is kinda the same genre as ReLIFE, and has also made me feel a lot.

It is about a group of teenagers, who catch the attention of a supernatural entity, who then starts to mess around with their lives, because it thinks that “they are interesting” and because he “wants to see interesting things” from them. Well, I’ve now seen some pretty interesting stuff myself.

I like it how these series can really make you feel a lot, you can get addicted to the feels, especially if your own life is devoid of any emotion but regret. And the other thing I like about these high school romance dramas is the deep analysis of the characters’ subconscious worlds that some of the teens can come up with. One moment they are in a serious discussion about each other’s feelings, which would dwarf the analytical skills of even my therapist, and the next moment they are so emotionally charged that they have no control over what is happening.

I guess so far I’d give this series a solid 9/10.

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Are there any more emotional series you’d recommend me that I haven’t seen yet? Let me know in the comments.

Also, enjoy this meme I made:

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So I started playing another gacha game on my phone recently. If you don’t know, gacha games are Japanese games with a super deep and fascinating loot box system. You pay tons of money to open loot boxes to get waifus, and the best waifus are rare, so you really gotta cough up the dough to get them.

And I already did. Cough up the dough, I mean. This game I’m currently playing is called Girls X Battle 2 and it’s pretty awesome. At first I thought it would be lame to pay real money for virtual waifus, but boy I was wrong and I ended up disappointing myself and my parents.

Basically the actual gameplay in Girls X Battle 2 is similar to any idle game – you just make numbers go bigger for the sake of making some more numbers go even bigger. And as these games work, at first you have solid gameplay for some hours, and then you hit a wall. And your credit card will help you breach the wall and keep playing.

There are three currencies needed to make your 12-year-old anime girls’ numbers go bigger – let’s call them “Cash”, “Booze” and “Drugs”. There’s also a premium currency, let’s call it “Diamonds”. So I just used some “Euros” to buy 30 million “Cash”, 30 million “Booze”, and I’m getting the “Drugs” by buying them in-game for “Cash” and “Diamonds”. So now my waifus have infinite power, and I still have around 15 million cash left.

Nice.

 

Anyway, I’m not sure how long I’m going to play it, but it is pretty solid fun. It has a lot of social features, and I like that the girls are voiced by actual famous voice actresses. For example the character on this picture is voiced by Chiwa Saito, who also voiced Senjougahara from Bakemonogatari.

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I just discovered that I have my old blog lying around on my computer, all set up for reading, just for me. It has 1254 posts from the years 2004-2011. To reminisce on the times forgotten and to practice my English writing skills, I will now translate a post from 15 years ago, also from May. It was originally in Estonian. Here goes:

Oh noes, another entry that describes the stuff I did during the day. How unoriginal and uninteresting of me to write this.

Today was a kind of a ~~~~ day. I woke up. I waited for my dad, who was supposed to come here, and then he took me downtown. There I was supposed to meet Kristi, but she was seriously late, and then I just hung around in Kuku with Keiu and that wannabe-writer dude and Andreas and then at some point Kristi herself arrived too. And then I was there for a while. It was pretty chill.

And then I went home, and Ants came, with his machine gun, and then we played war with the guns. With those plastic-bullet-guns. Frigggen awesoome it was. Guns and men – a wonderful, inseparable combination. We shot at the Stuart Little 2 poster on my wall and then I made target circles on it with a spray can, and then we shot at it some more, and afterwards we played war with pistols outside. Ants’ Famas is like so cool… An automatic weapon, shoots a bunch of bullets at once, a copy of the actual weapon, exactly the same weight, material, etc, only it shoots plastic bullets.

And then I went to Gnat’s birthday… meeh I’m tired of typing, I got drunk there and I just stepped in the door because someone was back there who I didn’t want to see I didn’t want to stay there for long

Things I’ve learned from this experiment:

  • I wrote that post while drunk
  • I’m at an age where I look back at past adventures instead of having new ones
  • Translating stuff is hard, I’m amazed with the work actual translators do
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I guess I’m pretty used to the lockdown by now. Or rather, it never was a problem. I’m one of those fortunate (or not?) people who haven’t had many changes to their lifestyle since the coronavirus closed all the establishments. There are two differences between then and now. I work from home now, and the pub quiz I used to go to is also over the Internet. I earn the money in my living room; I have fun with friends in the living room. I only leave the house to buy food.

It’s awesome. Honestly, I would keep it like this. The only problem is that I’m constantly worried that I’ll die an untimely death due to the disease, so I guess I wouldn’t mind if I got vaccinated against the stuff and THEN continued living the same way.

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Most of the time you don’t really think about that. Most of the time you are busy just living through the day, worrying about some small things. Which pair of sweatpants to wear while working today? Maybe no pants at all? But occasionally a sense of clarity flashes upon you, making you remember that which you forgot, or rather didn’t want to think about. That, which you kept pushing to the back of your mind, as dealing with it is annoying. That, the knowledge that sooner or later you will die. Global pandemics make you remember it more often than usual, I guess.

You will die. And what have you accomplished? Some might be satisfied with their adventures so far, but I sure ain’t. I’m not even sure what I would like to achieve. What should I be doing? Where should I be getting? What is the meaning of life?

As probably most, I’ve spent time thinking about it. For a bunch of time, my conclusion was that the meaning of life is to be as happy as possible, for as much of your time as possible. To have plenty of joy and fun and minimal amounts of troublesome stuff. Seek out the good, avoid the bad. I’ve been living like this for a long time now. Working minimal hours, barely enough to buy food and pay rent. Spending the rest of my time playing video games and watching funny stuff on the Internet. But I gotta admit, this lifestyle ain’t doing it. It makes me feel empty. It’s easy to live by only following your instant gratification urges, but that won’t make me feel like I’ve achieved much in the end.

I recently reached a new groundbreaking conclusion that the meaning of life is not to do fun things at all. Instead, it is to do meaningful things. And the meaningful things might not at all be fun. Those things would matter in the end. And I could die without regrets. Unfortunately, I still have to figure out what those meaningful things to do would be. I have some ideas, but they are out of reach, because I’m too stupid and weak. Not even that stupid and weak, more like average. But the things that seem meaningful are pretty hard.

So the questions still remain. What should I be doing? Where should I be getting? What is the meaning of life?

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