Tag: thoughts

I put garlic sauce on almost all of my meals. From today’s anime episode I learned that having a bottle of it always at hand makes me well protected against vampire attacks.

On another topic – the book I’m currently reading, How to Know a Person, is indeed a good read. It’s about communication skills – about being kind and open, about supporting others in different ways.

My own communication skills are in a pretty bad shape. Of course just reading books won’t improve them. Gotta actually practice the skills and be around people to see any improvement.

Reading the book still has been inspiring. Some chapters had emotional stories that brought a tear to my eye. And others taught me various theory about being a nicer person to be around. Putting the theory to practice will require a lot of trying and failing and learning.

I’ll keep trying my best to become at least a bit more humble, curious and kind.

I have a note where I’ve written down a few ideas for blog posts. One of them is to draw a comic strip. I tried to do it for the current post. But the result was so atrocious that I decided against unleashing it on the Internet.

I have nearly zero experience drawing. But it is one of those skills I would like to acquire. I have watched a bunch of tutorial videos about it, but watching them won’t make me draw any better. Actually drawing, regularly, would though. The secret to learning how to draw (or many other skills) is just to practice a lot, so that your brain acquires new neuron connections which allow you to coordinate your imagination, eyes and hands in a better way.

These neuron connection pathways allow you to perform complicated tasks, if trained correctly. But they also determine your personality and your whole life. It is possible to retrain them, update the way your brain works, but it takes time and effort – regardless if you want to change some personality traits or learn how draw.

I’m having a hard time approaching the whole drawing thing. I’m setting myself really high expectations – I want to immediately be good at it, but the results are not so good. That’s probably a pretty common problem for people. If not immediately good at it – just give up.

Here’s a little continuation to the previous post.

When I met my friends back then, we talked a bit about life goals. Like, when you are in high school, that’s what is motivating you, finishing it is a goal to work towards. After you graduate, the next goal will be getting your university degree. My friend had just finished his master’s degree. After that is done, you are left with a sense of purposelessness – up until then you had specific milestones to achieve, but now you are left with this uncertainty. You just keep living, a day at a time.

I’ve been in that spot for so long now. I am guessing some others find their new goals – in work, family or hobbies. But I have my depression and stuff which certainly don’t help in that. Regardless, for a few days after writing the previous blog post, I did feel a certain drive. To write more blog entries. And to look for interesting things to do, so that I have something to write about.

Not sure if blogging really is gonna be this huge motivator for me, but I gotta admit, writing is pretty fun sometimes. Even if having a goal to write regularly kinda makes it a chore too.

I’ve read a bunch of books with religious undertones recently. They are nice, though most of them, regardless of continent of origin, write about the same stuff – how being kind and humble is the way to be. I mean, I agree with that. And hate myself for not being kind enough. But there are sooo many other kinds of books out there. Gotta read stuff from different genres to experience as many different things in your lifetime as possible.

Like, recently a friend mentioned that he started listening to the fourth audiobook of Wheel of Time. I read a couple of those books, and, well, they are like that thing. You know. That. Like, I found these results of a survey today, of which girl is the most popular in some mangas according to readers. And on the fifth place there was some girl I hadn’t heard of. I checked out the manga, and well, the girl was being bullied. In school. She was basically being tortured, in the first chapter she was bound to a chair in class for a long time and eventually pissed herself, and then the bully made her clean up the piss from the floor with her tongue. And then, at the end of the chapter, it turned out the bully was actually the one being bullied, the girl actually tortured him outside of school to make him bully her in class. And like, that girl was the fifth most popular girl character. I guess people have different tastes.

Anyway, I think my life has enough pain and misery that I don’t need to add any to it by reading painful books. That’s my opinion of the Wheel of Time series – when you read it, you really start to feel the agony the characters feel because it’s written so well. So I don’t think I’m gonna continue reading that one as my friend did. Instead, I think I’ll spice things up a bit by picking up another self-help book for a change.

There’s so much suffering in the world, most of which is brought upon us by other people. There are so many evildoers. Evil, or just indifferent, irresponsible people. People who cause others harm, through their greed, hate, selfishness. But just as I feel sorry for all the victims, I also feel sorry for the ones to blame. The people who make others suffer are not doing it because they have a choice. It is simply the result of the way they are. I know it from my own experience. Whenever I’ve made someone feel bad, it wasn’t as though I could have acted any differently. I acted as well as I could. It just turned out the way it did. In my case the misdeeds are minuscule on scale, for some their deeds have global consequences.

I feel sorry for everyone who causes others harm, for everyone who cannot be kind. I think being kind is the ideal way to be, as taught even by ancient religions. But most of us can’t help but just be the people we are and that is pitiable. I believe people act the way they do not because they decided to, but because of everything that had brought them to that point. A person’s genes, memories, their psyche eliminate all options except the one they will follow. And that one option just sometimes sucks balls for everyone involved.