Furamo

stories about this and that

My SSD is full, but that’s a story for another time. What I actually want to discuss this time is the hard disk in my head. My memory. It’s terrible. Like, most of the days I don’t remember what I had for breakfast. It’s even harder to remember stuff that happened days, weeks or years ago. But, for some reason, there are a few parts of my brain that store and recall information really well. One of these is my memory for long numbers. Another one is the memory for Magic: the Gathering cards. And the biggest baddest storage space of them all is the part of my brain dedicated to storing embarrassing memories.

I think from time to time that I should make a conscious effort to store pleasant memories too, so that I have something to bring up to counteract all the bad ones. There’s the negativity bias and all. It’s all human nature. It’s not just me. Most people have these random flashbacks to past pitiful events, especially when going to sleep or when your brain is otherwise not occupied with anything else. So you gotta work hard to pay attention to the good stuff, because by default you take particular notice of the bad stuff. Like, a small nice thing that happened might go unnoticed. But a small annoying thing can really ruin your mood. What will matter in the end though, are all those small pleasant things that happened during your lifetime. So let’s all work harder to store these precious moments as long-time memories.

What? You say I need to get my shit together and change? Well I already have. For the better.

Me. In high school. I got a new hoodie. It is the first hoodie I’ve ever worn, and for some reason having a hood on my shoulders makes me anxious. I keep adjusting the hood and asking people if it looks okay.

Me. In his thirties. My wardrobe only consists of hoodies. Wearing a hood makes me feel most comfortable, somehow it makes me feel less bad when I’m in the deepest of depressions.

So, there you have it. I’ve certainly improved.

I’ve binged a few older anime series lately. I really loved ReLIFE, which made this old man cry and laugh and cry more than his last serious relationship. And at the moment, I’m about to finish Kokoro Connect, which is kinda the same genre as ReLIFE, and has also made me feel a lot.

It is about a group of teenagers, who catch the attention of a supernatural entity, who then starts to mess around with their lives, because it thinks that “they are interesting” and because he “wants to see interesting things” from them. Well, I’ve now seen some pretty interesting stuff myself.

I like it how these series can really make you feel a lot, you can get addicted to the feels, especially if your own life is devoid of any emotion but regret. And the other thing I like about these high school romance dramas is the deep analysis of the characters’ subconscious worlds that some of the teens can come up with. One moment they are in a serious discussion about each other’s feelings, which would dwarf the analytical skills of even my therapist, and the next moment they are so emotionally charged that they have no control over what is happening.

I guess so far I’d give this series a solid 9/10.

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Are there any more emotional series you’d recommend me that I haven’t seen yet? Let me know in the comments.

So I started playing another gacha game on my phone recently. If you don’t know, gacha games are Japanese games with a super deep and fascinating loot box system. You pay tons of money to open loot boxes to get waifus, and the best waifus are rare, so you really gotta cough up the dough to get them.

And I already did. Cough up the dough, I mean. This game I’m currently playing is called Girls X Battle 2 and it’s pretty awesome. At first I thought it would be lame to pay real money for virtual waifus, but boy I was wrong and I ended up disappointing myself and my parents.

Basically the actual gameplay in Girls X Battle 2 is similar to any idle game – you just make numbers go bigger for the sake of making some more numbers go even bigger. And as these games work, at first you have solid gameplay for some hours, and then you hit a wall. And your credit card will help you breach the wall and keep playing.

There are three currencies needed to make your 12-year-old anime girls’ numbers go bigger – let’s call them “Cash”, “Booze” and “Drugs”. There’s also a premium currency, let’s call it “Diamonds”. So I just used some “Euros” to buy 30 million “Cash”, 30 million “Booze”, and I’m getting the “Drugs” by buying them in-game for “Cash” and “Diamonds”. So now my waifus have infinite power, and I still have around 15 million cash left.

Nice.

Anyway, I’m not sure how long I’m going to play it, but it is pretty solid fun. It has a lot of social features, and I like that the girls are voiced by actual famous voice actresses. For example the character on this picture is voiced by Chiwa Saito, who also voiced Senjougahara from Bakemonogatari.

I just discovered that I have my old blog lying around on my computer, all set up for reading, just for me. It has 1254 posts from the years 2004-2011. To reminisce on the times forgotten and to practice my English writing skills, I will now translate a post from 15 years ago, also from May. It was originally in Estonian. Here goes:

Oh noes, another entry that describes the stuff I did during the day. How unoriginal and uninteresting of me to write this.

Today was a kind of a ~~~~ day. I woke up. I waited for my dad, who was supposed to come here, and then he took me downtown. There I was supposed to meet Kristi, but she was seriously late, and then I just hung around in Kuku with Keiu and that wannabe-writer dude and Andreas and then at some point Kristi herself arrived too. And then I was there for a while. It was pretty chill.

And then I went home, and Ants came, with his machine gun, and then we played war with the guns. With those plastic-bullet-guns. Frigggen awesoome it was. Guns and men – a wonderful, inseparable combination. We shot at the Stuart Little 2 poster on my wall and then I made target circles on it with a spray can, and then we shot at it some more, and afterwards we played war with pistols outside. Ants’ Famas is like so cool… An automatic weapon, shoots a bunch of bullets at once, a copy of the actual weapon, exactly the same weight, material, etc, only it shoots plastic bullets.

And then I went to Gnat’s birthday… meeh I’m tired of typing, I got drunk there and I just stepped in the door because someone was back there who I didn’t want to see I didn’t want to stay there for long

Things I’ve learned from this experiment:

• I wrote that post while drunk
• I’m at an age where I look back at past adventures instead of having new ones
• Translating stuff is hard, I’m amazed with the work actual translators do